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Dr. Bakunetsu

His name is Japanese for 'explosive heat' -
it's also, he says, unfastening his suitcase's
brass clasps, the name he gives the ailment, taps
the carat of my ribs - "In here, chief?

Right-o, that's a nasty one. No, don't speak!
These things can go off any time, sunshine,
I’ve seen ones that could atomise Parliament,
your heart’s the barrel and this thing, chief,

this’s the burning taper. S’only got to leap
like a flea, or a jumping bean, sunbeam,
skip like a record and your whole torso’ll
go up like a sack of fireworks. Keep still, chief.”

His cigarette tipped with a ziggurat, his teeth
cusped with blood, he makes an incision.
My chest’s the seat of something unstable
as the Second Triumvirate, making sleep

impossible. Hot-black as torched heath,
lodged like grapeshot. I’ve heard such things
are regarded by some as blessings, weapons
to be broken in and put on a leash,

but where do you start? “Hold still, chief!
Almost got the bounder.” Steam whistles
from the crack, a stutter of sparks ricochet
off his goggles. He grins. “Wasn’t all that deep,

son. Not surprising – you ain’t got much meat
on yer.” He jauntily applies a sticking plaster.
©2007-2009 ~jack-cade
:iconjack-cade:

Author's Comments

I was going to write something involving Guy Fawkes and revolution, but it sort of ended up as this.

Daily Deviation

Given 2009-02-24

The suggester writes, "Dr. Bakunetsu is evidently a trustworthy fellow. Although cursed with a propensity for cockney slang, he's willing to get to grips with the sticky situations other men don't dare touch. He's also blessed with patients apparently capable of similes referring to ancient Roman history in the midst of surgery. And if that won't get you reading I don't know what will." Dr. Bakunetsu by ~jack-cade (Suggested by ~Aladdin-Sane and Featured by ^SparrowSong)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 1 1 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconproject-confessional:
The imagery, creepy, I think. Nice job!

--
:dance:
"When the power of love conquers the love of power the world will know peace."
-Sri Chinmoy
:iconmr-youse:
wow. i'm surprised this doesn't have more comments and favorites. this is wonderful! i love the way the character speaks, it really enhances the poem. very nice!
:iconsolusumbra:
i must admit to some sort of ignorance, seeing as i cant seem to understand the coherent idea behind this.

--
some people are like Slinkys. theyre not really good for anything, but i still smile when i push one down a flight of stairs. :turbopoke:
:iconcrazyclur:
Well written with a lovely rhythmic quality that keeps you reading to the end . I'm not sure exactly what the doctors removing or whether you're meant to be able to tell (could be me being slow), but I enjoyed it all the same! ^^

--
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR :D
:iconsecondgoddess:
I love the rythm in it - can't believe this has only 16 favs.....

congrats to the DD! :)

--
~ Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein ~

Visit me at Last.fm
:iconpoeticwar:
Who is this hack??! This doesn't deserve a DD! He can write but he is far too young!!!

--
mimesis, the poetry journal

Buy Mimesis issue one here.
Buy Mimesis issue two here.
:icontenko72:
This was amusing. I liked the bit about the ziggurat cigarette.

--
I am Pokemon #180 Flaaffy in DA's Pokemon Crew!
Icon by ~angelishi.
:iconniallthecool:
Age shouldn't be a factor if the quality is good
:iconlientie:
Impressive, I really like this. The imagery is fantastic, and as someone said above I cant believe you dont have more comments/faves!

--
Eternal salvation or TRIPLE your money back!!!
---
The cake is a lie....I found out the hard way

Details

May 26, 2007
1.5 KB

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